Love Until We Bleed
by NationalAnthem
Summary: Bella wishes her skin was as scarred as her heart, maybe Edward would see what he has done to her. (Better version of a previous story I wrote.) Twilight doesn't belong to me. M for swearing and adult problems. Set after Breaking Dawn.


She saw Edward kissing that silly human girl, she heard her cry out at her husband and tell him to leave her alone because her heart couldn't handle it. Bella's eyes burned like her throat did when humans were around, she could not cry, could not wrap up in a ball in the woods and sob like she did once upon a time. So she watched, a horrible frown on her perfect face. Bella hated being perfect, hated herself. She thought that being a vampire would be great, but she misses the perfection in her human imperfection. What Edward loved about her, her brown eyes and the bite marks on her lips when she was stressed. Now she had no blood in her veins and she was empty, unlike that human. Bella's perfection was her imperfection.

She folded her hands and decided she would let Edward go after the girl, he would never leave her, he turned her. He couldn't, he would play with June until she got to old, and he would get all the frustration out and return to Bella and love her perfection. Bella started to hate the way that word tasted in her mouth, the word that used to be an endearing term when Edward was just her boyfriend, when Jacob was still after her and not her daughter. It wouldn't be the same, and she knew she wouldn't let Edward play with her.

Bella was innocent in this, she still loved Edward unconditionally, she now was angelic and he was dirt. The tables turned. The knight who once watched her sleep now cheated on her, on their daughter. Bella was civilized, and strangely could not bring herself to murder June. She hated her most definitely, but she couldn't do it. She had to be the bigger person for her beautiful Reneesme. Nessie, the epitome of a blessing. She had done so much in the year she's been alive. Stop a war between wolves and vampires, got the Volturi off their backs for a year, and was something most adult vampires would never have.

No matter what though, Edward had broken her heart, something she never saw coming, and if she could, she would cry until she stopped loving him. But that would never happen, she could never stop loving Edward Cullen.

The ring feels heavy and the thought of it burns her and so she takes it off and carries it inside her house to put it in a drawer.

xXx

Edward is laying next to her, they are both reading, but he lays his book down and says to her, "Why aren't you wearing your ring?"

Her heart feels crushed again, but she can hide it and say, "I didn't want to lose it when I went running so I put it away and must've forgotten to put it on."

He laughs, "You still manage to lose things, even as a vampire. Some things don't change, my love." Bella feels sick with heart ache, she wishes he would still truly see she was his Bella. Her mind is screaming 'I'm your Bella! I'm yours!' and she damns her shield. Edward smiles and kisses her forehead and she grabs him tightly, "I love you, J-Bella."

She hears it, something not even the oldest vampire could hear, the way his lips almost formed an J, it was the hearing of a vampiric, jealous wife, she chokes on the air she didn't need to breath and he backs away, "Are you well, love?"

"I'm fine. I'm just...so happy to have you!" She pretends she's very happy and somehow she's pulled it off, "And...I love you, too."

Bella and Edward then continue reading until the sun comes up.

When it does, she gets up immediately to escape Edward and the pain and to find something else to do, something Human Bella would do, something to make her feel like she is happy and that Edward is Edward, her Edward, not June's Edward.

So she goes to her dads house.

xXx

Bella pretends to sleep in her purple bed until her dad 'wakes' her up, "Bells? Why are you here?"

Bella sits up and smiles at her dad, "I missed you. I missed being here with you." Bella remembers all the times she would cook for her dad and she would sit with him when he watched sports. She remembers the time she tripped on ice and her dad was there to catch her. Not Edward. "Can I cook dinner for you tonight?"

Charlie nods and walks away, but Bella notices the smile on his face. She almost feels normal again. She pretends to be human Bella and walks down the stairs slowly, then slowly starts making her father some grilled chicken and mashed potatoes.

When finished, she sits down with him and eats a little, as much as it taste like acid and makes her sick.

"I love you, dad. So much." He hugs her very tight.

"I love you, too, Bells." He sighs, "You can, uhm, stay here tonight. If you want."

"Sure, dad. I would like that."

xXx

Bella is laying on the purple bed and she thinks about the times she would wait for Edward to come through that widow to love her again. It kills her inside and she can't stand it anymore. She goes into her dads room and wakes him up, "Dad?"

He looks at her like she's crazy, "Hmm?"

"Can I lay with you?"

"What?" He looks at her again, "Okay?"

The vampire bride lays down next to her human father and he strokes her hair, fatherly, like he would've when she was a baby and she chokes on the tears that will never come. She maybe was an adult now, but she needed a rock, and that rock was her father. For now.

xXx

Bella goes home around noon the next day and Edward is asking her, "Where were you?"

She turns to him angrily, "Why didn't you look for me? My Edward would've looked for me."

He sighs, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"I stayed with my dad, I missed him."

Edward says, "Oh, okay." The sound of his voice makes her feel inhumane again and she walks out to go spend time with her pride and joy.

Nessie, Bella's beautiful brown eyed girl is sitting in her room drawing, drawing normal human girl pictures, "Hey mom!"

She turns around and smiles, then turns around to continue her painting, "Hey Nes? You wanna go do something fun?"

She smiles very big and says, "Can we please go to the movies and see the new superhero movie?"

Bella laughs, the pain melting away, "Since when have you like superhero movies?"

She goes on about Jacob and how he showed her some and her mother tells her to get some shoes on because they are going to the movies.

xXx

At the theater, a cute boy comes up to Bella, she had forgot she looked 18. He looks around the same, he smiles, perfect white teeth, "Hey? Is that your little sister?"

Bella smiles, "Yes. Why?"

He looks at Nes and says, "She dropped this." He hands Bella her movie ticket back, but not before reading it. "Two beautiful girls going to see an action film, you are going to make some men very happy." Then Bella snorts loudly, and he looks at her weird.

The vampire makes a quick recovery, "I'm sorry. I just my hus-boyfriend-"

"I understand." He smiles and Nes looks at her weird and tugs her shirt.

"Come on, the movie is about to start." Then he and Bella say a quick goodbye and they run off to see the movie.

xXx

She is painting when Edward comes into their bedroom, he looks deep into her eyes and holds her hand tightly, "Bella, I love you." She knows that this is his form of begging. She wants him to admit he's been with June.

"I love you, too. But why are you doing this?" She pushes away lightly to meet his eyes and hold his other hand.

"Reneesme showed me, at the theater."

"Oh."

"Please, put your ring back on." Edward is gripping her tightly, like he won't let go, but she knows he already has let go. And in her head, she's screaming: Return to me! Tell me the truth!

She just hugs him and dryly cries until he thinks they are okay, then she puts her ring on and smiles like the day she did when she first became Edward's girlfriend.

xXx

Bella had a lot more free time as a vampire, she could usually be found painting or writing in her journal. She spent more time learning and taking in the past and present through art and writing then her whole life as a human. She didn't have a job so it was all she really had and wanted to do.

Read, paint, write, take care of Nes, and making herself look good. It was pathetic how much time she took everyday to curl her perfect brown hair and put on the nicest clothes for Edward. As a human, she didn't care, but now she was so beautiful she felt she would break without perfect care. Bella was like a china tea cup that must be put in the sturdiest and most elegant cabinet to be safe.

Not that Edward noticed, he spent most him time hunting or seeing June. It was revolting how alone Bella was most of time because of of her husband's infidelity.

It was when Bella was writing poetry in the study that she realized how irritating and lazy it was she lived on Carlisle's money and did nothing all day. It was like a bunch of lazy children living with their parents.

She put her shoes on and followed the little stone path to her annoying bullet proof car. The vampire woman drove through the town and admired all of the places she was to focused on Edward to notice, like Cassandra Keep's little bakery on main. She stopped inside of the little building and awed at all of the girly decorations, she really never lived in Forks, Edward was everything since day one.

Cassandra was frowning at the counter, her plump cheeks a bright red, Bella walked up and said hello.

"Hello, Isabella!" She knows Cassandra from one of her fathers co workers, Cassy was his wife.

"Are you alright?" Bella asks her shyly.

"I'm just a bit flustered, my usual worker has decided not to show up." Cassandra blows a blonde curl out of her face and sighs, pulling two large trays out of the case.

"Let me help you!" Bella grabs one of trays before all of the treats are able to fall.

The owner laughs, "You aren't as clumsy as you used to be, Isabella."

Bella smiles, saddened that her difference is obvious, "Please call me, Bella." She pauses, "Cassandra-"

"Cassy. Call me Cassy." She winks at her.

"I don't have anything to do today, would you like me to help you?"

"Yes!" She calms slightly, "I mean yes, thank you Bella. You can start by pulling the cupcakes out of the oven over there, please don't burn yourself."

Bella does as she is told and spends most of her day helping Cassy out and it's around 6 in the evening when she tells Bella she can go home because they closing. Cassandra starts pushing buttons to turn of things and hitting light switches, "Thanks so much, Bella."

"Hey, uhm, I was actually wondering if I could apply here." She shrugs sheepishly and expects her to say no.

"Sure, let me get you an application." She pulls one out of a folder, but then stops, "Fill this out and come in tomorrow. You've got the job, but I want to at least have a record." Cassandra gives her the papers and gives another one of her winks, "Rest well, we open at 6."

Bella smiles and waves, "I will." She heads home to find Edward watching television in the living room.

"Where have you been all day, Bella?" He asks her.

"I got a job." She smiles about that, she got a job!

"You know you don't have to, I can support you." He looks at the tv.

"You mean, Carlisle can support me." He frowns and she realizes she's insulted his manhood.

"I think I'll go stay in the main house tonight." Edward says coldly and walks out.

She sighs and turns of the tv, then walks into the laundry room to start a load, it's one of her favorite things to so because it so normal and wifely. She is not sure wifely is a word and if it is, it definitely doesn't describe her.

She separates the colors and whites and decides she'll go lay down. At first, she thinks of what she will buy with her new money, probably an old truck and some new clothes. Bella smiles at the thought of buying the cheap food she used to buy for Charlie and herself.

The thoughts turn dark when she thinks of Edward's storm out and she wonders where the hero she married was. Bella thinks of the day she looked into Edwards eyes and he told her he loved her, and he meant it. Her cheeks are dry and it burns even more, she wishes to cry, she wants to be fragile.

June, the human girl whose mind Edward couldn't read, looked just like she did. She had large brown eyes and lovely thick brown hair. Bella wished she had the energy to rip it out and watch her cry as she drank her blood.

The violent thought scared Bella, it was after feeling her tongue around her mouth she realized she was thirsty.

Bella goes to closet and puts on sweats, it more comfortable to hunt that way. She ties up her hair, too. She looks in the mirror and cringes at how awful she looks, her skin looks white as snow against the black clothes.

It makes her more angry, she runs out of the house at vampire speed and heads for the mountains because she wants an aggressive kill. Bella growls out loud, it doesn't take her long to sniff out a bear, Emmentt's favorite, and pounces on it with no plans, she digs her teeth into is fur neck and it growls and paws at her. She tears at its neck with her teeth and blood sprays on her face.

xXx

She walks into the house around 4 in the morning with her pale skin stained red, Edward is home and audibly gasp at her appearance, he was used to her nervous, clean kills, "Bella?"

Pushes him away when he goes to touch her, she walks into their room and slams the door.

Bella takes a shower, then lies in her bed until around five, she's taught herself to quiet her mind and think of nothing, it was the closest she's gotten to sleep since she's changed.

It's around 5:30 when she puts her hair in a pony tail and heads off to work at the bakery with Cassy, she's very excited to see what her first official real day will be like.

It's actually a lot better than she expected in the worst way.

xXx

Bella is sitting at the register around the time the bakery is dead, Cassy is in the back talking to people about orders and so Bella is very bored.

The door jingles as someone walks in, she lifts her head and it's June. It's in that moment Bella realizes how gross it was that she was 17 and her boyfriend was over 100.

Bella shakes it off, "Hello," she walks up to the counter timidly, Bella wants to laugh out loud at how pathetic she is, "What can I get you?"

Her brown eyes are huge when she points at a red velvet cupcakes, "I would like two of those."

Bella pulls them out and puts them in a box, then types in the cost on the register, "That's four dollars."

June goes to pull out her money and everything in her purse falls out, Bella looks at her and she scrambles to pick it all up. It's annoying to watch her fumble until Bella sees a familiar necklace in the clutter of her purse, "Excuse me, where did you get that necklace? It looks exactly like the one of a kind one my husband made me."

The human girl looks like she's about to vomit, "I, uhm, found them, I mean, it...well, have a good day." She storms out without the cupcakes, the necklace lays on the floor still, Bella goes around to pick up the silver jewelry.

She wishes she was like traditional vampires and the silver burned her, she wanted to feel pain at this moment, she wanted to hurt physically more than she did in her still heart.

The jaded vampire pins the beautiful chain around her neck and smiles.

xXx

Bella arrives home a bit later and Edward is playing a board game with Nes. Bella kisses her on the head and tell her she needs to speak with her father.

"I'll meet you at our spot." She says.

"Okay." Edward smiles at her lovingly.

Bella first walks into their room and gets into her jewelry cabinet, just as she suspected, the necklace was gone, and is now around her neck. Bella crushes the picture frame next to the cabinet in anger.

She sees her husband walking outside near the window so she walks out the back door and runs there to beat him.

Edward thinks that she is going to do something loving out here by his smiles, but then he sees the chain around her neck and he looks fearful, "You found your necklace?"

"Actually, I had no idea it was gone." She pulls on her wedding ring, "A human girl had it with her today, a pretty brown haired creature. She told me she found it."

He laughs, it sounds strained, "I really don't see how that's possible, love." Edward strokes her arm, he does his smile.

"I do. She seemed to have found it in your hand." Bella looks over his shoulder passively.

"Bella, love-" he starts.

Rather out of character, she tears away from him, "You don't love me." It must've been the vampire she truly was, to growl at him and yell, "I thought I could ignore it but I can't. I'm going to live in the cottage with our daughter while you stay in the big house until I make enough money to move."

"You can't.." He looks at her in the eye.

Her angry facade falters for a moment, "W-why not?"

"Because I made you." Edward says solemnly.

"That doesn't have to do with anything! Does it?" She wants him to tell her it doesn't matter desperately.

He sighs, "I never told you because I didn't think it mattered. Well, I guess it does now. Since I bit you, you belong to me until I say I don't want you to."

"Edward, you wouldn't, no, couldn't do that to me." She wants to fall to her knees and beg.

"I could and I am." He walks away from her, leaving her in the place they once felt love in, but Bella can now only feel hate and despair.

xXx

Time for apologies. I am aware this is unrealistic and weird but that's why it's called FANFICTION. I'm a fan and this is fictional from the fiction story. I don't have a beta so all grammatical errors belong to me and my retarded fingers. 


End file.
